What’s Your Favorite FTC Disclosure Statement?
As of yesterday, December 1, 2009, the FTC’s new regulation about disclosure for affiliate marketers took effect.
The last minute “$1,000,000 In 6 Days” promos mysteriously disappeared (for real…nice, huh?), the wailing, teeth gnashing and hair pulling of many bigtime gurus suddenly ceased and then it happened.
Slowly and uncertainly, newborn FTC disclosure statements started peeking out at the world.
And some just came out screaming!
Here’s a couple we’ve seen so far, completely unedited:
“And in the spirit of full disclosure (and future FTC regulations) I must state that I, James J. Jones, will earn a commission if you buy through the above link. Shocking I know! Damn evil capitalism is what you can blame it on. That and corporate greed. And George Bush (the young one not the older one who jumps out of airplanes — we like him.)
So, if you don’t want to line my pockets you can use the “non-commissionable” link below instead. Both the links are the same. Except the one above is nice and shiny and comes with the bonuses mentioned. The one below is sort of dull and worn out. And it doesn’t have any bonuses. But if you use the one below you will do so knowing that you are not contributing to the evil which is capitalism. (and I’ll probably still send you the bonuses anyway because I’m not gonna check)
Dirty Old Non-Commissionable Link
Oh, and if you use the non-commissionable link you may get warts. Not threatening you with a voodoo spell or anything like that. Just saying.”
And another with a slightly different approach:
“DISCLAIMER:
NONE of the results achieved by me or by any of my students or readers are TYPICAL.
If you consider yourself to be ‘typical’ or ‘average’ then go find a real job or better yet a generous government program and save us all a bunch of wasted time. People that succeed in life possess extraordinary abilities that you DO NOT and WILL PROBABLY NEVER have.
The ability to turn off the TV and read a book occasionally, or the ability to put aside selfish short sited desires in order to pursue larger long term goals makes some of us freakishly superior and you don’t have what it takes to join us. So please – just give up now and go eat some ice cream and watch a movie. DO NOT BUY MY PRODUCTS.
You’ve heard it said “results may vary” right? Well, yours won’t. You won’t get ANYTHING from ANY of what I have to offer.
The average or typical results that anyone can expect from reading ANY of my books or articles is a dead honest ZERO. There is nothing there for you. As far as you know every testimonial about me on the Internet is made up anyway so why bother? How can you possibly trust ANYTHING on the Internet?
If however you would like to actually meet and talk to the people behind those testimonials you can do so at my open forum membership sites MySilentTeam.com and OfflineBiz.com. Sadly though – you won’t find any typical people there…only those freakishly superior people that always seem to succeed when you keep failing.
Why are you still reading this? I told you to go watch a movie.”
Everybody’s got one, so what’s YOUR favorite FTC disclosure statement??
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Oh my gawd, Dan!!!! Those are completely awesome! I absolutely love them!
Much better than those old dried up and dusty legalize types.
Um, I don’t see yours in that list Dan…
That would mean me doing something in a timely manner, Cindy.
That’ll be a post of its own!
Dan
Here’s one from Media Decoders:
“Media Decoder, also known as Decoder, and sometimes known within the organization as that Internetz Media Thingie, frequently reports on media products, including, but not limited to, books, magazines, movies, television shows, radio broadcasts, webcasts, Web sites, P.D.A.’s, mobisodes and casual games. Decoder frequently receives unsolicited products from many of the companies that produce, promote, market and sell these self-same products, which frequently gather about Decoder writers’ feet and fill up nearby waste receptacles. Reader of this blog should be aware that as a matter of policy, the blog, its writers, editors and owners do not accept anything over the value of $25 and make every effort to return said products when possible. Nonetheless, the presence of all this swag, sometimes displayed in a place that will henceforth be call the “swag table,” could be unconsciously or subconsciously influenced by the presence of this products and/or gifts and hence readers should be aware that any and all endorsements are to be viewed with skepticism, suspicion or outright derision.”
I loved these FTC disclosure’s made simple at LouisGray.com which Copyblogger tweeted. They are icons you can add to your site just to make it really clear to the dopiest of your visitors:
http://blog.louisgray.com/2009/12/ftc-disclosures-made-simple-for.html
You’ve got to admire the marketers who turn the change in rules to their own advantage. Some very funny and clever disclosures around.
Lisa
Hey, can I cut and paste some of these for my website? hahaha
Hey Dan, long time no see – just spotted your post on SSWT.
This is the disclaimer I’ve put up on http://growth-focus.com/disclaimer – and it is – ofc – loaded with affiliate links to my favorite training and weight loss products
“Great, so the FTC decides to make it easier to shut down sites where fake testimonials, manipulated earnings snapshots and unrealistic earnings are being used to lure/trick people into bying something.
I’m not strictly sure they apply to recidents outside USA, but I’ve decided that I would rather play it safe and go along with their recommendations.
So, when you see any link on my site there’s a good chance that I’ll make a commission if you decide to buy whatever they are selling after clicking the link on this site.
The truth is that I try to use affiliate links whenever possible – so when you see a link just assume that I’ll make a commission on any sales generated.
Just take Craig Ballantyne’s Turbulence Training programs for instance – I bought it, have downloaded lots of workouts from his online archives, I use his forum and I’ve participated in 2 of his transformation contests so far (and made finalist in my first contest) – so when you see any links to Craigs stuff you can be 100% it’s an affiliate link.
There will be link to sites I have no monetary affiliation with, but just assume I’ll make commissions on those links as well.
The same goes for Paid Reviews (which I on October 2009 haven’t done so far) – should you ever see a review on this site then assume I’m getting paid to write it.
The truth about reviews on this site is that I have a mental block that prevents me from just copy-and-paste reviews from affiliate resources provided by companies that I try to get paid for recommending.
If I write about products with subtle hints, suggestions or even flat out promises about specific amounts of money, muscle strength or weight loss assume then assume I’ve completely lost my marbles or that I’m being held at gunpoint.
Assume that all the hints, suggestions and promises (although they are coming from my own personal experiences) are bogus and fabricated.
Take Brad Pilon’s Eat Stop Eat for instance – the review on this site is my own personal experience with Brad’s approach to losing weight. Will you get the same results I did? – well, assume that you will not. Will you experience the same lack of significant negative sideefects? – well, assume that you will have a horrible time on your fasting days and I will not get in trouble with the FTC.
Will I link to something without having tried it myself? – sure, but it will never be as part of a review – more like an announcement of something that have popped up.
The Withings WiFi Body Fat Scale is a good example of that – I don’t own one, but it sure looks cool enough for me to promote it through my affiliation with Amazon
Will you see recommendations of something without me having tried it myself? – sure, but this will predominantly be products by people I trust or recommended by people I trust (and I trust very few people online, especially when it comes to internet marketers and fitness and diet gurus)
In the end it all comes down to trust – if you trust me to not send you to any harmful sites with questionable content then my work here is done. I cannot persuade you to purchase anything, I cannot pressure you into buying anything against your will – all I can do is point you in what I believe to be a useful direction.
The decision to buy something is yours and yours alone.”
Lisa, those Louis Gray icons are awesome.
FTC Disclaimer: Commenter got mad scrilla for this comment….not
Mine’s coming, Cindy.
Love to see the “very funny and clever disclosures” you’ve seen, Lisa!
Well, the FTC never DID say you couldn’t have some fun with it, Henrik!
Dan
I thought mine was pretty clever:
http://www.metafever.com/ftc-disclosure/
My favorite was #4
4) Compensation. We take bribes, free products, and hard cold cash as payment for our services. Feel free to offer me any of the above 3, after all it’s the only way you are getting any action on my blog.
Pretty darn honest of you…